Le sigh. Thoughts.
I can’t seem to find a reason for why I’m still dancing. I can give the same line as everybody else where I say that it’s fun or it expresses myself or something, but I really can’t find the real reason. I’ve been dancing all these years and I’m starting to doubt myself.
During my state of doubt, I remember I was debating on choosing between dance and school. I was debating on what I should really do with my life because it seems that nobody really does what they want in life anymore. Everybody conforms to society’s idea of being practical and having a stable life to keep things safe while the few who have the courage to oppose society and do what they want are the ones with an unstable life filled with adventures.
I remember talking to Brian Puspos at theTOUR season one during the social. I asked him "if there was ever a possibility for somebody to lose their passion for dance and if so, could they do something to get it back?" He stood in front of me and thought about it for a few seconds and he replied, "Losing your passion for dance? For me, I can’t really see myself do anything else but dance. I would say that if you’re losing passion for it, you might have never really had the passion for it in the first place."
He left me standing there a little bit stunned. I was still in shock and ever since that one question, I’ve been really thinking about it from time to time. All these thoughts keep swimming in my mind. Why are you dancing? Is dancing just a waste of time? Do I really have a passion for it or am I just kidding myself? And no answers come to me.
All I really know is that I love dancing. I may not be the best at it, but I really do love it. I can’t stop watching it, thinking about it, going to classes/workshops, and helping out at gallery; I just can’t. I don’t know what I’m going to do with dance, but for now, I can’t part with it just yet.